Hey Erik,

Today the new kitchen floor is going in. We are excited, now I just have to get Dale to follow the "no shoes in the kitchen" rule and we will be good. :) The new flooring will go in the back entryway next weekend. We love this house, it's so cute and cottage like. We have been looking again off and on for a "getaway" second place, or possibly our little farm out in western MN again. Whenever there is a project in this house, I think of you helping. Although, I thought of you laughing today at Jerry and Dale. They are something else. LOL Jerry wanted my brownies so I mad a pan for him, and somehow, him and I always end up watching animal shows together. LOL!! Funny....The floor is looking so nice, so is our new landscaping. Dale and I are loving our life, and I'm glad we have gone through what we have because it's made our relationship that much stronger and closer. He said I make him want to be a good man, I luv him for that!

I chopped a lot of my hair off. I like it. Dale really likes it! I'm sure I'll grow it longer in the winter, but not too long, gotta look my age somewhat! At least I don't have the curled under huge bangs like back in the 80's huh. Oh lordy...... LOL! ANYway...I got so many birthday wishes on Friday! Dale was so good to me, even remembers to get me flowers in your fav color "from" you. :) Facebook is really a wonderful thing, got back in touch with relatives, lot's of people from high school. It's been neat, but I wish I had more time to chat on there.

So, we are good, God is good, been blessing us so much. Surrounding ourselves with good.

Watch over Jerry and Dale so they don't kill one another. LOL!

Love you...Mom

Hey Erik,

I feel really robbed today. I feel that way everyday, but at the moment, honestly, I'm downright pissed. I'm mad that you and Grandpa Joe are no longer here because 2 people decided to be idiots on the road and take another persons life, future, everything in their hands. They shifted the path of all our lives in a major way forever. They think they know, but they have no idea how many lives are affected by this. It doesn't happen often, but today, I would like to go off on both of them. They probably think they know how hard it must be, they have NO idea. ZERO idea how hard it is.

God knows my heart, he knows how much better I'm doing with all of this, but I will have many bad days ahead. So anyone that is offended by this, I won't apologize for my feelings. Unless you have lost a child and are in my shoes, spare me..

Erik,

I just can't believe it's been 4 years already since you left us and yet, sometimes I still don't believe at all that you're gone. It's such a strange feeling. I feel like I'll come back to visit and you'll be there. How I wish that would be true.

Today we worked out at our farm all day because Uncle Russ had the day off. Cody and Saundra came out and helped and we all talked about you. Cody doesn't say too much though as I can tell it bothers him to think about it. You would like the farm Erik. Lots of neat things to do there. Uncle Russ and Cody worked on the pump house today and I kept thinking how much you would like to tinker on something like that with them. Well anyway, just wanted to say I thought about you extra today.......with tears in my eyes several times. Love you and miss you Sperik!

Mandy and Dale.....love you both very much.  :o)

Love, Lisa

After we ate dinner last night, I realized the meal we prepared was the same meal we all had together the night before you died. Fish that Dale had caught that day, and rice. Funny how things work sometimes.

It's hard to believe it's been 4 years since we have seen you. Sometimes it feels less, most of the time it feels like 20 years. KS95 had a mom on last week that lost her son to cancer. She said "When you lose a child, the pain never goes away, you just learn to build a new life around the pain." She is right. You can never go back. People don't realize that. They see that I'm much better now than i was even early last year, but they don't realize, my son is still dead, I'm never going to get over it. I will say, the process makes you a very strong person, strong beyond words.

So many people love you and miss you! I still want to write something on your site about grief and the process, and hopefully i will get to that soon.

I love you soooooooo much Erik. Having you for 16 years was the best gift in my life. No one can compare to it, and no one can take it away from me. Together we had one of the best child/mother relationships around. So many now are based on spoiling the kids or the kids disrespecting the parents. Not you, you respected me because I was your mom, and for no other reason, you would have never spoke vulgar to me or raised your voice. Thank you for that. It's a wonderful gift, i will cherish forever, and even now, i feel you with me, everyday. God can take us home, but when you have a strong bond, the relationship still goes on.

Today like everyday we will remember you, and do our best to always celebrate your life, not focus on the day we lost you. We are still going to have your Anniversary gathering. Just this year we are waiting until we can have a big BBQ and enjoy the warmer weather. The kids are looking forward too it and already threatning to kick our butts in Air Hockey. Will they ever learn.

Love you always,

Mom